Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Words Spoken Cannot Be Retrieved

Just like spilled milk.
Can you really retrieve 100% back?
Even if you soak it up with a super absorbing sponge,
what about the spots on the floor?
Even when you try your best to squeeze every drop from the sponge back to the glass,
to create back the 'look' of a glass of milk,
the quantity will never be the same as before it was spilled.

Why am I talking about this?

Because I have a lump in my throat and I hadn't been feeling good about it.
So as my faithful readers of my blogs would know, I need to spit it out.
To make myself feel better.
To act as a reminder for myself that I should NOT be such a person too.

It was not me.
I'm in no way involved.

I LOVE and TREASURE EVERY FRIENDSHIP.
Regardless how we met.
Regardless how long we chat.
Regardless of our habitat.

Probably that's why I often have friends who come to me to tell me their deepest thoughts and their darkest secrets.
Over the years, this has Not decrease in numbers.
I guessed that tells alot about how much my friends trust me and I ALWAYS REMIND MYSELF, NEVER EVER to take that trust lightly.
***Thank You****
***Hugs***

The victim came to me.
Let's call the victim 'Y'
Y told me that the person Y least expected had been having negative thoughts about Y.
Let's call Y's friend 'X'.

X and Y had been friends for decadeS.
Y had always been looking out for X.
When X needed advise, X would call Y too.

Recently, their common friend told Y that X badmouthed Y.
Let's call this common friend W.

When I heard the full story from Y,  my first thought was, what's the MOTIVES behind the actions of W?

They are common friends.
What good is there to tell Y about how X feels, when its so negative?
Are you trying to break the relationship between Y and X?
To spark a quarrel?
My question to W is "Can you handle it if it really happened?!"
Or should I say, "That was your plan, wasn't?".....

GROW UP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
Such tale telling are for school kids "I friend you. I don't friend you. So and so said this and that about you........."

To me, even the best of friends will have something which the other does not like.
Its normal!!!
Even if they are so alike in thoughts and taste and dressing and what have you.
Haven't you heard, like poles repel?

Over the years, I have learned one VERY VERY IMPORTANT lesson.
If I did Not hear from the horse's mouth, I Choose NOT to believe.

There is always such a thing call MISUNDERSTANDING.
There are selective listeners.
There are lousy speakers, who cannot find the right words to express THE EXACT THOUGHTS.

Do you know how detrimental these 2 types of people start talking?!
The result can go 9000 feet underground.
Its that harmful.
Its that HURTFUL when what they THOUGHT they said, or what they THOUGHT they heard is being transferred to another person.

So what did I tell Y?
"Does it matter? 
Will you still care about X, even IF those words were really said? 
What do you think is the purpose of W telling you all these? 
You know X for decades, won't you think you know X better than W, who hardly talk to X in years?"

Y quietened and found the answer in Y's heart.

=========


If I heard someone tell me something bad about another person, that is his/her opinion.
I have NO RIGHT to pass someone else's thoughts.
When I am a listener, I BE A LISTENER!

Humans are loving creatures.
Humans need relationships of all sorts to find emotional rest.
So why choose to break one, when you have one to treasure?

Think!
Please!

All I can say is what W did was TOTALLY UNNECESSARY, unless W has something up W's sleeves.........which apparantly, when taken few steps back and look at the entire situation from an outsider's point of view, its highly possible.......

Then again, never assume.
Time will reveal what's hidden under W's sleeves.............



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