My child says goodbye to year 2007

At this last hour of year 2007, Keatkeat and I reviewed his progress. From drawing just straight lines, colouring out of the pictures and could not differentiate “b” from “d”, to this very day, when he could draw a non-abstract figure, colour within the given picture and recognise all his letters….Indeed, he has progressed.

He is always eager to put up a new worksheet or handicraft to show his Papa and Mummy. We called this special area “the pride of my child”. This area in the living room is always a motivation for him to want to improve on his motor skills. See photo...

Children help cleaning up

We decided to clear up our storeroom, at least I can have my foot in it, now its so packed I can hardly see the walls!

You know how easy it is to always stuff things we seldom use into that little 6 by 4 feet space and by the middle of the year, things are already piling up. This has become a yearly routine, but this year I've got helpers!

We were trying to pack all the old clothes which the kids have out-grown to give it to Salvation Army. There they are helping with the folding. SEE VIDEO

Breastfeeding with Confidence Tip 4-Milk Supply 3

There are no specific foods to eat that will stimulate production of breast milk, but there are things that can help with milk production. More important than what you eat is how your baby eats. When a baby is properly positioned, well-attached and sucking effectively, the longer a baby nurses at your breast the more milk will be produced. This is the single most important way to increase your milk production.

There are two important factors critical to producing milk.

Breastfeeding with Confidence Tip 4-Milk Supply 2

If you decide to give formula and breastmilk to your baby, you may face a serious problem which I did for my elder boy.

Firstly, by doing that, you cut down on the frequency of your baby sucking from your breast directly and that will eventually cut down on the supply of the breastmilk. Remember, feed more = more breastmilk supply. Find out what other problems you may face

Breastfeeding with Confidence Tip 4-Milk Supply 1

The most common questions that kept ranging in my head when I first decided to breastfeed was MILK SUPPLY.
I am not even a B cup, so I thought my supply will be very low or may not be able to meet my baby needs.
But the good news was, irregardless of the size of our breast, our milk supply WILL meet the requirements of our baby. Yeah! Lucky me. *wink* Find out when your breast starts to produce milk

Breastfeed with confidence tip 3-Latching

Matin was breastfed for 1 full year. I wanted to do that for Binbin too, but because of the nature of my work, I had to stop when he was 6 months old. From my failure in breastfeeding Keatkeat, I am already very pleased that I breastfed Binbin completely for 6 months without any formula. Find out how to latch on correctly.

Breastfeed with confidence tip 2-Comfort

How often do we enjoy an air-conditioned place to dine in more than having a meal outdoor where we are at the mercy of the weather?

Its the same for babies, they need to be comfortable when they are being fed. Tips on how to be comfortable.

Breastfeed with confidence tip 1-Timing

you may had a difficult time breastfeeding your previous baby and hence lose confidence, I hope I can build up your confidence in giving breastfeeding a chance (again) to prove its worth for the effort put in, in the beginning.

Because of my mother-in-law's objections I failed terribly in my first attempt at breast feeding. When I had my second baby, I was determined to get it right no matter what comes! I had lesser objection this time, although my second child is still a grandson, from my in-law, because it was not the first grandson. Secondly, I discussed with Allan that he must help me to prevent his mother from interferring and this time he did a great job! Find out how to get the timing right.

6 Tips for buying presents for children

I have always loved buying presents for children. Its just so easy. The following are the 6 simple tips to get the right present for children, no point buying an expensive present that does not bring a smile on the child's face.

Tip 1, buy something that they have ever said,"Mummy, can you buy this for me?" or "Can I have that?" or "Buy this, please?" whenever you bring them shopping. Suddenly you are spoilt for choice, huh?

Tip 2, get whatever candy, chocolate, sweets, high in sugar edible stuff, irregardless of size and they will stick to you like bee is to honey.

Tip 3, get whatever kids' stuff that has been flashing on the TV screen. Children always want the latest in-trend gadgets or toys. So that whenever the advertisement comes up on the screen, he can say proudly, holding up the exact thing, "See, I have this already."

Tip 4, get whatever thing that has his favourite characters on it. Be it on the T-shirt, the cup, the shoes, the bags, the waterbottle, the toothbrush even if its just a sticker. They will love it.

Tip 5, this is a MUST, do your homework before you dash into the store and get the item. Make sure that the present which you are getting for them is not something which they already have.

Tip 6, if you know that there is something which the child used to own and treasure very much, but somehow it was broken or lost. GET THAT EXACT SAME THING! The child will kiss you a thousand times!

So this was what I bought for my nieces.....

My child - my apprentice?

Did you miss me yesterday? So sorry, I was busy making new accessories for the Christmas bazaar today at the KK Hospital for their staff.

You know how children love to imitate their parents, the way they talk, walk, move and not forgetting the bad habits of their parents. *watch out*




I left my desk full of parts and pieces of my accessories to put my little Binbin down for his noon nap.


When I came back...... I found this.......

8 Objections to Breastfeeding

Its really tough when you don't have the support of your family on breastfeeding. It definitely didn't come easy for me.

My in-laws are the typical traditional Chinese who loves boys more than girls, as the boys will carry the surname of the family and hence producing more offspring for the 'Loh' (their surname) generation.

So lucky them, my in-law have 3 sons. So no child was neglected. My 2 sis-in-law gave birth to girls before I gave birth to my 1st child, A BOY. So naturally my in-law, especially my mum-in-law was over the moon. She wanted to make sure that this boy, the very 1st grandson of the 'Loh' Family, is well taken care off; and she is a woman of strong character who believes in no one else except herself.

She strongly refuse to let me breastfeed him. Want to know why?

so said my child

Allan and I wanted to bring the kids out for shopping in the evening and so we were trying to coax Keatkeat to take his afternoon nap. He hasn't been willing to catnap during the day for a few weeks already. But when it comes to 8pm, he will start to whine. That's the last thing we want in a crowded shopping centre, where everyone will stare at the noisy child.

So Allan "threatened" him, "Mommy is going shopping later, if you don't go sleep now, you will stay at home."
Keatkeat:"Alone? What about Binbin?"
Dad:"Binbin (who is fast asleep) will go with mommy. You will stay at home with me."
Keatkeat:"Why?"
Dad:"To keep me company. I will feel very lonely if I stay at home all by myself."
Keatkeat: Find out what he said here

Handicraft-Santa Claus

Do you think your kids will like this?

See step-by-step instructions...

Blackout Dinner for the Kids

Yesterday, certain units in my block of flats have unstable electricity supply since 6pm. It comes on for about an hour and off for a few minutes at first, then as the night continues, it began to have electricity supply for a few minutes then gone for more than an hour, all the way till we sleep.



We had candles at different corners of the living room. We even had one candle on a plate for us to move around with it. We didn't have proper candle holders. Anyway who would need it when this hardly happen in years!

Luckily we are done with the cooking. Imagine if we were half-way through with the fried fish and it blacked-out....ahhhh...horror!

So we had candle-light dinner. This picture was taken with the flash on. Hey, I have a pretty strong flashy camera ya? Oh please pardon the naked daddy, its hot when there isn't any wind and the house is full of candles everywhere.



Its boring to have no electricity. No TV, no surfing on the internet, no reading to the kids and it was way too early to sleep!

But the kids love it, cos' its their chance to have their hands on the illumine sticks again! Luckily we bought new ones 3 days ago. If not I really wouldn't know how long I can grab their attention for so many hours just by playing shadow games....Phew!

Have you had such an unplanned candle-light dinner before? Share with me in the 'comment'

Keep your promise made to your child

....and so I did what I promised last week.

The Christmas Tree was proudly brought to you by Keatkeat, showing you his brillant smile and Binbin, who is missing in the picture because he was throwing a tantrum on the floor, the typical 2-year-old.....

My boys did all the decorations, with a little help from the adults of cos.

From the cotton wool for the pretend snow, to the candy bars, the lights, the mini presents and the little santa animals at the bottom of the tree, they enjoyed every moment of it.

Afterall it is their first Christmas Tree. So often we see kids lose interest in the things they do, when they do it often. Let's hope they will never lose the joy that Christmas brings, other than the fact that they will have lots of presents from everyone.

Have you put up your Christmas Tree yet? Its less than 2 weeks away only.

My child's new word "Die"

Keatkeat has been saying "die" in almost everything we talked about lately.

An ambulanced was driving past our van with its siren on.
Keatkeat:"Oh no, somebody die" he is still not very good at past-tenses
Me:"No, its just a sick person, he may not die."
Keatkeat:"But the ambulance is driving so fast, so dangerous, sure die."

We were at the doorstep of the supermarket. I squart down and looked at my boys with a serious face:"Now, we are going into the supermarket, what must you do?"
Boys:"Keep my hands to myself."
Me:"Good! If not, the uncle in the supermarket will throw us out."
Keatkeat:"Throw us out!" with eyes wide opened. "Is the uncle very strong? He can carry all 3 of us and throw us out together?"
Me:"Mm! So do you want that to happen?"
Keatkeat:"No. If you fall on me I will die!"

Keatkeat was trying to negotiate to skip brushing his teeth.
Keatkeat:"Why Binbin never use toothpaste?"
Me:"Because he still doesn't know how to spit it out. What will happen if he swallow the toothpaste?"
Keatkeat:"He will die!"

In these days its quite hard to find a pet shop that sells birds. Today we were lucky, we saw a pet shop that sells almost 50 over birds. They were cheeping away and the sound caught the attention of my boys.
Keatkeat:"I want to go see birds."
Me:"Ok, so can you touch the bird cage?"
Boys:"No!"
Me:"What will happen if you touch it?"
Keatkeat:"I will die!"
Me:"No! The birds may think that you are a piece of food and they may bite your finger. What will happen when the birds bite your finger?"
Keatkeat:"(yes, you guess it!) I will die!"

Sigh.....

Christmas Tree?

Ever since the children went to IMM they have been asking me to put up a Christmas Tree at home. They never knew that there is one sitting in the storeroom unmoved for years.

Ever since my dad pass away, I have not touched that box.

So I told the boys that if they could draw me a Christmas Tree, I will grant them their wish. And so they drew this!



The green marker did not leave its tracks on the paper alone, but on their faces....Binbin wasn't in the mood for photo shoot today, so its just Keatkeat and his Green Tears..... See Photo

Happy 1st Month, Bernice

My neighbour's daughter, Bernice, is turning 1 month old today. Bernice's daddy and mommy are Chinese. As the tradition goes, they will give a 'Full Month' celebration cake with red eggs and ang-ku kueh.

Find out what does each item symbolise here...

My Child's creative mind

During Christmas Day, we often see people wearing christmas hats and illumine sticks, which are then bent to form bracelets. My kids are always crazy over these. I hardly buy for them except for party-time.

It was their lucky day today when Allan's friend gave a tube of 50 sticks to them. They were so 'high', they bent ALL THE 50 STICKS to 'activate' the lights.

Usually they would just bend 1 stick to form a bracelet or at most, join 3 or 4 of the sticks together to form a necklace.

But not for tonight, Keatkeat's creativity cells were at work. He made this for me.....See Picture

A Father who lives for his Children

Half Man Half Tree



Details below are taken from Discovery Channel

32 year old Dede lives in a remote village in Indonesia with his two children, trying to care for them. Dede, a former fisherman, has an extraordinary skin condition: he has root like structures growing out of his body - branches that can grow up to 5cm a year and which protrude from his hands and feet, and welts covering his whole body.

He is known locally as ‘Tree Man’ and his condition has baffled local doctors for 20 years. In an attempt to earn a living to support his family, he is part of a circus troupe, displaying his Tree Man limbs along with others afflicted with skin deformities in ‘freak’ shows.

According to my friend Aldian, Dede's wife left him and got sacked from his job.

You can view his special interview. The roots are growing fast and getting heavier. Now his only wish is to be able to live long enough to see his grandchildren.

It takes alot of courage to carry on living in such a state...on this joyous season, let's take time to be thankful for what we have and teach your child to always be grateful for who he or she is, never take anything for granted.

Have you or your child been complaining? What do you think goes through the mind of this man when he hears the type of things you complain about?

A Charlie Brown Christmas!

I always love A Charlie Brown Christmas!

Hope you enjoy too....

Children having fun shopping in IMM

Finally, its not raining! Just want to get out of the house to get some fresh air after 4 days of cold and rainy weather. Got the kids to bathe, get dress....when kids know that they are going shopping, they just become sooooo obedient and do exactly what you say in fast speed....*wink*

So in less than an hour, we got out of the house. Yeah! Waited for about half an hour for the free shuttle service to IMM from the bus interchange and in less than 10mins, we are there.

IMM was so full of Christmas decorations. So we took the chance and take photos...

Didn't look too excited. So I gave each of them a Santa Hat to get them in higher spirit.

That's Better!

Then we shop....



then they saw the kiddy ride...$2 for 10mins...because they were younger than 7 years old. The assistant said I had to be on it too, so what a bargain! All 3 of us in the kiddy ride together for $2! So 3 of us drove around the 100+sq foot of empty space on the furry elephant.



and we played and played....



and they spotted the water playground!



Sorry boys...not today...



it dark clouds start covering the sky again...have a drink before we go...



on the way home, Keatkeat spotted these on the floor....



the kids only managed to observe for a few seconds and the rain started...what a waste!



Its great fun to shop with the kids when you know how to handle them. Children normally become extra active when they are outdoors, parents must understand that its the way children express their excitement.

Its so often that you hear parents shouting, "stay still", "don't run", "keep quiet" when they are shopping with their kids. Kids are not robots, they have feelings, let them have the freedom to express it.

Do you enjoy shopping with your kids?

Kids decorated the toliet

Stickers were contributed by Keatkeat's school teacher. He was so excited about the stickers and kept telling me all the good habits that we must have when we go to the toliet. He wanted to make sure that 'everyone' remembers so he asked if he could stick them in our toliet.

My reply, "Why Not?" He told me that he is afraid he may not stick them well, so he requested me to do it and that I must do a good job....

Well, he was the instructor, I just do the sticking...so we stick here...

and here...



AND HERE!



"Thank you, mummy." Keatkeat said with a smile full of pride as he looks at the stickers.

Every now and then, he would point to the pictures and say, "remember ah....do not....."

This is really good when it comes to building good habits in children. Get them stickers, get them to participate in the sticking process, it does get into their heads.

Mmmm...maybe I should start finding stickers on "SIT 3 meters away from the TV"!

Snake and Ladders for your Child?

Finally my 4-year-old Keatkeat is old enough to play a decent game of Snake and Ladders, without throwing the dice so far, you could hardly locate it...and refuses to slide down when bitten by the snake...sigh...yes, all those days are gone now.....

Its "Good Etiquettes" Snake and Ladders. It teaches you what you should do (gives you a ladder to climb up) and what you should never do (get ready for the slide down the snake).



The longest ladder goes to gardening, *scratch head*, maybe because you need to put in lots of love and care, from 28 to 84, up up and away!

Riding a bicycle without holding onto the handle will cause you to slide down from 87 to 24. I guess children that perform bicycle stunts wouldn't agree then...*wink*

At last, Keatkeat can tell me the number of dots on the dice in less than 1 second. Of 'cos, I still need to do-the-walking for him most of the time, ....with the pictures its really hard to see the tiny numbers on a board that is smaller than the size of my 2 palms put together.

Ever played snakes and ladders with your kid? The next game on the list...Tic-Tac-Toe...he still doesn't know when to 'block' my move....

Your Child can Learn Words and Do Charity

I am still donating Rice to people in hunger ever since Antique Mommy introduced it on her blog.

Its really a great way to do charity while you play and increase your vocabulary all at the same time. Its really a brilliant idea!

Go on, donate some rice today to those in hunger. How blessed are you and your children that you have plenty to eat.....

Lullaby Lyrics

Hey how many of you really know the lullaby lyrics? Or have you been humming all along to the tune....

I never knew the exact lyrics, but somehow there was this special radio station that will play this song at the end of the day, with a twist. Their lyrics goes like this:-

Try to sleep now, close your eyes. Try to think of tomorrow. All the stars are shining bright. They'll be watching you all night. All the things you enjoy on this beautiful day. All your friends, all your toys, will be waiting for you to play.

Try to sleep now, close your eyes. Soon the birds will start singing. All the stars wish you goodnight. So I'm switching off the lights. One more hug. One more smile. Kiss you once. Kiss you twice. I'll be here, for awhile, try to sleep now and close your eyes.

That was what I have been singing to my kids ever since they were born, so much so that they know the full lyrics too, and they sing together with me! Sometimes the more they sing, the more awake they get....*sigh*

Today, I found out what was the real lyrics .... read more

Child Independence

Almost everyday, I can see from the newspapers that a child is reported missing. I think it is important to let your child be safety smart when he knows how to articulate his words.

My heart is aching as I type this down.... I lost Binbin in a shopping mall before. At that time, Binbin was only 26 months old. I was paying for his father's birthday cake and when I was done, only Keatkeat was beside me.

Keatkeat was too busy looking at the cashier putting the cake in the box, he didn't notice where or when did Binbin walked away.

We searched the entire basement 1 of Jurong Point Shopping Mall, I just refused to believe that Binbin would dare to go up the escalator on his own. I was fighting back my tears, my heart was pounding harder as I dashed in and out of every shop without any sight of Binbin.....read more

Children Makes you Laugh

When you focus on the times your chlid makes you laugh, the frustrations in parenting just disappears....

Nosebleeds in Children

I was in the MRT today with my boys, on the way to the library. It was basically quite quiet except for the rumbling noise from the train itself... A loud "Aiyo!" broke the silence.

A little boy around 5-years old was bleeding from his noise. It seems that it was a rare case for him, 'cos the mother was very disturbed and seems to be at a lost. She reached into her big bag for a tissue paper, rolled it up and squeeze it into the boy's nostrils; that was what my grandparents do to me too, when I was a kid, 'cos I love to nose-pick. *eek*

They believe that the tissue paper will suck away all the blood and then the blood would stop. I still remember my chinese physician uncle who plucked few straw of grasses from the ground and stuffed them up my nostrils when I had nose bleed. And incredibily, that really works, no wonder he is a chinese physician. *wink*

But ever since KeatKeat's horrible experience, I learnt from the doctors that when my child's nose bleeds, I should get him to sit up, lean forward and pinch the lower soft portion of the nostrils together for 5 to 10 minutes, while breathing through the mouth.

Or I can choose to put an ice pack across the bridge and the forehead or on the cheek to allow for reflex constriction of the tiny blood vessels.

Most of the time, the bleeding do stop. And when it restarts again, I would apply compression again for another few minutes.

The doctor told me that the idea is to keep the heart lower than the nose so blood flows back to the heart and not to the bleeding area. So it was important NOT to let the child lie down.

At this time, the passenger who was sitting next to the child, stood up and tried to position the child in a lying position, I knew I had to do something. I wouldn't want to see the child vomit blood like Keatkeat did.

So I stopped the passenger, explained quickly to the desperate mother in a few short sentences that I had such experience with my son, so I know what to do. Immediately, I just did what I am already so familiar with. (Keatkeat still have nose bleed often after his very first. Doctor said that he had hurt the thin, superficial blood vessels in his nose and nosebleed may be often from that injury and may last until puberty.)

Yes, the bleeding stopped. You can see the relieve on the face of the boy and the mother. When I release my fingers from the boy's nose, I was so embarassed to see that my long fingernails have made deep impressions on the skin....ahhhh...I said sorry as I rubbed on the marks... You can see the mother's face changed from gratitude to disgust.

Anyhow, the timing was perfect for me to leave the uncomfortable scene as we arrived at our Queenstown station. 'phew'

7 ways to Build a Closer Bond between You and Your Child

How many of you feel that your child is not close to you? Refuse to share his thoughts with you? Or doesn't even want to sit down and have a chat with you?

Seriously, if your answer to the above questions is Yes, Yes and Yes! There are 7 questions you really need to ask yourself. As parents, its our responsibility to give our child all the love and care they deserve, if you have not been giving the basic to your child, please do not expect much from them.

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

1- How much time do you give your child? Your child feel loved when you spend time with him doing things he love. Playing, reading, singing, watching cartoons or simply just acting silly at times. Everyday, set aside a 'child-bonding time'.

During this time, please, put your work, your worries and all other committments aside. Be fully involved. Through actions, your child will definitely draw closer to you.

If there is a day you cannot spend time with your child, give him a call, not to inform him, but to chat with him just for a few minutes to show that you are sorry and you miss him.

If ever you made a promise to your child and you could not fulfill it, please make it up to him. This is very important. You are teaching your child integrity by fulfilling your promise in another way. For example, you promised to be present in his school sports day and you could not make it. Make it up to him, by bringing him to a place he enjoy or have dinner with him in a special restaurant.

2- How often do you talk to your child? Communicate is the word. Not one-way talking where you talk and your child listen. But rather let your child speak and you listen. Give opinions, feelings and ideas and not rebuke and lecture.

I have always emphasized, understanding your child is the essence to an enjoyable parenting life. But how can you understand your child if he wasn't given a chance to let you come into his world and share his world with you?

Communication is not just a talk and listen process, it includes body language too. When was the last time you hug your child, give him a pat on the back or a kiss on the cheek? Actions speaks louder than words. And never forget to tell him, "I love you".

3- When was the last time you laugh with your child? Laughing together over the same thing shows that the two of you really enjoy each other's company. That is definitely a plus point in bond building. Take time to play with him. Its not the toys that matters, its the enjoyment that counts. The bond that you are building now will last a long time even as your child matures.

4- How involved are you in your child's problems? Remember, your child looks up to you. In the early years of his life, especially when he starts to go school, there will always be obstacles that he finds it hard to get over.

Always listen to the whole story, repeat the problem back to your child to make sure that you do understand first, before giving suggestions. Never pre-judge.

Help to develop your child's ability to solve problems too, by asking him about his feelings, his view and any possible solutions he has thought of. Allow your child to think through each solution, ask him what he thinks would be the likely consequences to each option.

Decide on the most appropriate solution together. A closer bond is built when the two of you can overcome the problem as a team.

5- When was the last time you complement your child? All humans love to hear nice words said about themselves. For children, praising them not only lift up their spirits, but also act as a great motivator to continue to do good in the eyes of his parents.

Please praise him with all your heart without a 'but' at the end of the complement. For example, "I love your colouring, but why is the elephant pink in colour?" Its more like throwing a wet blanket. Be clear of what you are complementing him of. Instead of saying, "good boy", try to say, "good job, you kept all your toys back into the box, its so neat now."

6- How sensitive are you to his feelings? Do you notice that your child is not smiling? Do you notice that he is not behaving as he always does? Or is he exceptionally joyful today? Ask him what is the thing that is causing such a reaction in him.

Let him talk about his feelings, listen to him, make sure you understand his feelings by saying, "it seems to me that you are unhappy with your teacher for scolding you in front of the whole class." Let him have a chance to clarify his feelings, if your understanding was wrong. Your actions here is really telling him that you want to understand him better.

7- How much due freedom are you giving your child? Some parents are just too busy with their work and could not be bothered about their child. Other parents are too afraid that their child will get themselves in any trouble and gave no room for independence.

In all things, balance is important. You can let a young child to play at the playground with his friends under supervision. A teenager can be given more freedom in his activities but with the parents keeping track of his whereabouts and the friends he is with.

Remember, it takes two hands to clap when it comes to building any relationship. It will always be easier for the parents to start bridging the gap early than for the child to say, "Mummy, can you spare me some of your time?"

Children observe, analyse and conclude

My 2-year-old woke me up this morning and made me think deep....

As usual, Binbin woke up earlier than my husband and I. He asked me for his milk, I just said "mm." My loving Allan would naturally wake up, so that I can continue my sleep, to prepare Binbin's milk, then Allan would come back to bed.

After Binbin finished his milk, he would leave us alone and play by himself till its time for us to wake up to fetch my elder son from school.

But today, Binbin didn't play for long, he climbed up our bed and asked me for water, guess my response? Yup, I just replied "mm." And there goes Allan again, to get Binbin his drink.

It was at that split second, Binbin asked me, "Mummy, why you never wake up? Why always Papa wake up?" I couldn't help but feel ashamed of myself and replied, "I'm tired, dear." "Papa is tired too...." Awww...that's it! 'I will make it up to you then' was shouting out of my head.

It was then I remembered the words of T.Harv Eker, the author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.


http://www.secretsofthemillionairemind.com/a/?wid=567860

Harv mentioned about his wife experience when she was a little girl and how her experience impacted her thinking as an adult....

"When my wife was eight years old, she would hear the clanging bells of the ice cream truck coming down the street. She would run to her mom and ask for a quarter. Her mom would reply, "Sorry, dear, I don't have any money. Go ask Dad. Dad's got all the money." My wife would then go ask her dad. He'd give her a quarter, she'd go get her ice cream cone, and she was a happy camper.

Week after week, the same incident would repeat itself. So what did my wife learn about money? First, that men have all the money.... Second, she learned that women don't have money....."

I wouldn't want my child to think of me as a lazy being, where Papa always get things done, when mummy just lie around doing nothing. That would be terrible!

So calling all parents.... watch your behaviour, 'cos your child is observing, analysing and concluding on the way you behave infront of them.

15 Parenting Tips for Disciplining a Child

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much. ~ Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

"Please put away your toys now and eat your dinner", you say to your child. A few minutes later, your child still refuses to stop playing with his toys. He begins to throw a tantrum when you try to stop him.

Sounds familiar? As parents, we have to deal with misbehaviour from children from time to time. How do we encourage good behaviour in children, and how do we discourage bad behaviour? How can we discipline our children effectively?

15 quick tips for disciplining a child:

1 - Tell a child what he should do and not what he should not do in a calm voice.
Try to say it softly but stern tone, "Keep your hands to yourself", instead of "Don't Touch". Remember why a child doesn't respond to "Don't" or "No", if not, read here.

2 - Show a young child how to behave properly by explaining and showing how it should be done.
"Put your toys into the box carefully like this...." and demonstrate.

3 - Give the child some preparation time before he has to carry out the instruction.
"You have 10mins to play before dinner time. When time's up, can you put your toys back into the toy box and have your dinner?"

4 - Discuss what will happen if he misbehaves, always deal with the behaviour, not the child.
"If both of you continue to argue over who should have this toy, the toy will be removed from the 2 of you.

5 - When the child behaves well, reward him immediately to reinforce the positive behaviour.

6 - Praise, smile, give a pat on the back or hug him. Give small treats occasionally but make it clear that material rewards will not be given every time.

7 - Never tell a child upfront that rewards will be given for good behaviour.
"If you are a good boy, I will buy you an ice-cream."
This results in behaving the right way for the wrong reason and would caused the child to think that its a must to be rewarded when he behaves.

8 - Withdraw privileges if the child still do not obey.
For example, If the child refuses to eat his dinner because he wants to watch cartoons, switch off the television.

9 - Impose responsibilities, especially for older children.
You can try to ask the child to clean up the mess if he throws a tantrum and creates a mess.

10 - Scold only when appropriate, that is when all other steps failed to work. Hold the child's shoulders with both your hands, look at the child at eye level, tell the child clearly and sternly why he is scolded and how he should change. Remember to scold him for the action, not him.

11 - Reconcile with the child and let him know that you love him, it's his behaviour you don't like.

12 - Never scold the child in public. Bring him away from the scene where he misbehaves to a quiet place. Talk about the unacceptable behaviour. Alternatively, say that you are bringing him home now because of the action he did.

13 - Match the type of discipline with the child's behaviour. Choose a method that is suitable for the age and the maturity of the child.

14 - Discuss with your spouse and the child's grandparents on the aspects of disciplining. Work as a team and be consistent, so that the child knows that no matter who is with him, the tolerance level and the style of punishment for the same action remains the same.

15 - Never disagree with the adult, who is scolding or punishing the child, in front of the child. This cause confusion and the child will find it harder to accept that what he did was wrong.

Parenting Tips for Handling Toddlers

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. ~ James Baldwin

Toddlers would be referring to the age of 1-3 years old. This is the time when they learn so fast but yet still could not really express fully and clearly what they want or need. The following are the usual 3 situations where most parents would find it hard to handle their toddlers.

1 Whining

If your child whines when she wants something, encourage her to stop whining and ask nicely. "Mavis, stop whining for a drink, ask nicely."

Show her how to ask properly. "Mavis, tell mummy....'mummy, can I have a drink, please?'"

Use a pleasant voice and praise your child when she has done what you have requested. "Well done, Mavis. You have asked very nicely. Yes, you can have the drink."

2 Going Shopping

Before you go into the shop with your child, remind her of the rules you would like her to follow.

"Stay close to mummy and daddy." "Ask mummy and daddy first before you touch anything." "Walk when you are in the shop."

Suggest rewards if your child follows the rules."When you do what mummy and daddy tell you, we will bring you to the playground after we leave the shop."

Remember, always praise your child when she did well.

3 Resisting the seat belt

Many toddlers strongly object to being confined in a car seat, especially if they are physically active.

The best time to start using a car seat is when your child is still a baby and to put your child in a car seat every time, without exception, she travels in a car.

Make "belting up" a habit, instead of an instruction. This would come naturally if the habit started when she is a baby and she can see that you, her role model, belt up too.

If the habit was not established since young, then you will need to tell your child that she could climb into the seat herself, or you will put her in. Follow through and put her in the car seat if she doesn't climb in herself.

Look for good behaviour and offer praise when your child cooperates. "Great job, Mavis, good girl. You can climb into your seat yourself."

Reward good behaviour. Say in a pleasant voice, "When you're in your car seat, you may have a sticker."

Empower your child. Let your child choose a favourite "car toy" to take in the car. Make sure the toy is safe and soft so that it does not hurt anyone if you stop the car suddenly.

Children learn by modelling. Show her how you put your seat belt on.

Toddlers respond best to the tone of your voice, not the words you say. So practice to manage your own emotions, take control of your tone.

How To Throw a Tantrum

"How to Throw a Tantrum"

"No wonder people are so horrible when they start life as children."
~Kingsley Amis.

Positive Ideas for Discipline and Managing Children's Behaviour-5 & 6

We have covered:

1. Establish firm and clear rules


2. Give clear and calm instructions


3. Be consistent


4. Back up instructions with logical consequences

For children aged 2-10 years, there may be certain times when their misbehaviour may cause injuries or losses of any kind....this is the time when you must come to

5) Using "quiet time" to deal with more serious misbehaviour. I have covered this part much earlier.....here

So what if they misbehave in public? Hated the feeling of being looked at from passerby... Try this...

6) Remove the child from the situation

If your child misbehaves when you are out, you could remove him from the situation and take him to a quiet place. Eg. a park bench, your car, or an area with few people around.

Wait beside him until he has quietened down. If your child has not quietened down, take him home and take him to "quiet time".

Remember to encourage your child when he/she is good. Encouragement helps children to believe in themselves and try new skills.

Notice when they are doing the right thing and give them praise immediately. Praise helps to build confidence and self-esteem in children.

Discipline is only one part of balanced parenting. Children need to know what they should be doing more than they need to know what they should not be doing.

Avoid noisy arguments in front of your child. Children copy the behaviour of their parents. They watch and imitate the way you talk to each other and resolve conflict.

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. ~ James Baldwin

Bronchitis visit my child again - Part 2

Oh no, now my younger son has it. Binbin is well-know among my family and relatives as a super strong boy. His immunity system is so strong that he hardly falls sick even when he is playing together with a group of sick children for a days. He is almost the opposite of his elder brother. Binbin just don't fall sick that easily!

At times when he really does get a little runny nose, without medication he would fight off the problem over a night rest. Doctors hardly get the chance to earn money from him...*wink*.

I have a strong feeling that its due to breastfeeding. You know, all the nutrients that come from the breast-milk, there's simply no substitute. Complete breastfed him for the first 6 months only and I could see such a big difference between him and his elder brother, who had a mixture of breast-milk and formula milk. My supply couldn't build up fast enough to match his speed of growth, so I stopped after 2 months and put Keatkeat solely on formula milk.

In the past, when Keatkeat has his bronchitis "relapse", Binbin would be perfectly fine, even though Keatkeat may forget to cover his mouth when he cough at times. But this time, Binbin lost the battle. He is coughing too. It makes his voice huskier than it already is. Poor Binbin.

Anyway, I have confidence in him, I know he will pull through......

Bronchitis visit my child again

Yes, my child's "old friend" is back to pay its visit again... yes my elder son has been coughing till his face and ears gone red again....he was diagnosed with Bronchitis when he was only 2 years old.

For those of you who are new to Bronchitis, you can read up here. Allan and I are non-smokers...so please don't blame us, if you think we could have been the cause of it.

KeatKeat has been coughing before his birthday. He is a very obedient boy, we explained to him that even though it was his birthday, he couldn't drink cold drinks and eat chocolates and all the sweets that will worsen his cough.

Yes, as you can see from his birthday photo, there were chocolate almost everwhere on his cake...he didn't even take a bite. That's how much self-control he has. Yes, he is an amazing boy.

Or maybe he is still haunted by the past experiences he had, whenever he starts to have this "phlegm" cough. I still remember the very first time he started this...he coughed so hard that he started to nose bleed. He burst his tender skin in his nose. We were in total shock, quickly lay him down; in a few moment, he vomitted blood... we didn't know that by lying down, the blood from his nose could flow backwards and into his stomach which will cause his stomach to have adverse reaction, resulting in vomitting.

My little boy is afraid and he hated the feeling of coughing so hard till he lose his voice sometimes. But he can't help but vomit occasionally. So we got to make sure that he is not too full during mealtime....or the chances of them coming back out of his mouth is almost 100%, when he starts coughing too hard.

Specialist on Bronchitis said that my son needs to build up his own immunity system to fight against this "enemy", there isn't any real medication for it, just normal cough syrup to reduce the intensity of the cough.

So for almost 3 weeks, we tried over best to "eliminate" all the other things that will worsen his condition, like keeping the house as dust-free as possible, no direct fan, no cold drinks, sweet and sour food....the list just goes on....

Its times like these that parents need to control their temper as they hardly get to sleep, cos the coughing gets worse in the night, due to lower temperature; and for 3 weeks, its a challenge.

Do you, or someone close to you, have any experience with such an illness...any new tips to share with me?

Love Your Child, no matter what

It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. ~Mother Teresa

Read my article - Think! Before you react to your child's behaviour

Happy Birthday to my eldest niece, Cheng Han!

My eldest niece celebrated her 'chinese' birthday today.

For the sake of the non-chinese readers...let me do some explaination...we chinese have a chinese lunar calendar, the dates are very different from the english calendar....you can be born on the 11th November 2007, but your chinese lunar birth date is 2nd October 2007.

So for us chinese....we can choose to celebrate our birthday twice a year *wink*.

Her english birthday was on 28th October 2007, but poor girl, she was taking her last examination paper on 29th October, so she had to study for it....

Anyway, Happy 7th Birthday Cheng Han!

Love and hugs.....

Positive Ideas for Discipline and Managing Children's Behaviour-4

We have covered:

1. Establish firm and clear rules


2. Give clear and calm instructions


3. Be consistent

What happens when you have establish firm and clear rules, gave clear and calm instructions and your child still continues to do what he wants?

4) Back up instructions with logical consequences

If your child does not follow your request, choose a consequences that fits the situation.

"If you are arguing over the TV - it will be switched off for 10 minutes."

Remember, be consistent and keep to the conditions. If the behaviour continues, you must tell your child what he is doing is wrong.

"You are still arguing and shouting - then the TV will be switched off for 1 hour (... the rest of the afternoon...)."

Other ways to discipline are...

• take away a small amount of the child's pocket money


• ground your child for a short period


• take away a favourite possession such as a game or a bike for a short time

Choose a method that suits your family and the situation so that you will have the best chance of success.

Positive Ideas for Discipline and Managing Children's Behaviour-3

It's always good to make sure your instructions are heard and carried out.

3) Be Consistent

Your child will understand and learn faster about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour if you are consistent.

This means being predictable so children will know what to expect when they behave in certain ways.

It is of little use to laugh at their behaviour one day and then discipline them for the same behaviour several days or weeks or months later.

I remembered when my eldest niece was 4 years old, she ever said to her mummy, "stop calling me fat girl, if I call you fat girl, will you be happy?" Her mummy laughed, feeling amazed at her daughter's response.

but mummy didn't stop calling her "fat girl"....few months later the same daughter gave said the same words and guess what happened? "Don't be rude, how can you talk back at me?! I gave birth to you, I can call you any names I want."

"HUH???" I was shouting in my mind...

Its also important to get your spouse involved when laying out the rules. Work as a team. Plan methods of discipline with your husband or wife and agree with each other in front of your child. You should back each other up and work together.

My niece's daddy was still laughing at the response and got a stare from the angry wife.

Your spouse should let your child know that he/she agrees with the rules you have set, example:

"Mummy said that you must finish your homework before you go out with your friends, eh? Yes, I agree. Finish your work and then you may go out."

If you disagree on certain things, do so in private. Try to work out your differences so you present the same message to your child. Children become confused and difficult to manage if the rules change all the time and they receive conflicting message from you and your spouse.

Ask your child why he/she is misbehaving. This can do no harm and there may be a logical reason for the behaviour. - give the child a chance to talk.

Positive Ideas for Discipline and Managing Children's Behaviour-2

Did you try out the experiment posted yesterday? Hope you had fun...as you realise how important it is not to say "don't".

2) Give Clear and Calm Instructions

The way you talk to your children will influence whether they will cooperate or not.

Positive language will get a good response.

Remain calm. If you become angry, you risk losing your temper and hurting your child. If you feel angry, take a few moments to calm down before you talk to your child. Take some deep breaths or move away from the situation for a few seconds.

Think before you act , particularly about the outcome you want.

• move closer to your child, bend down to her eye level and use your child's name. "KeatKeat, it's time to visit grandma. Switch off the television and change your clothes."


• Stay close and watch your child to see he/she does what you have requested.


• Praise and encourage your child for cooperating and showing the desired behaviour. "Thank you for switching off the TV. I'm glad you choose this shirt, grandma loves to see you in this shirt."

Positive Ideas for Discipline and Managing Children's Behaviour

The purpose of discipline is to encourage rather than forcing children to do what is right....

1. Establish firm and clear rules

Rules should tell children what to do rather than what not to do.

Do you know that even us, adults, DO NOT 'recognise' the word "don't"?

Try this experiment...

Find anyone whom you consider an adult. Let the person sit down, close his/her eyes. Now you tell the person, "Don't think.. never think... must not think... cannot think...DO NOT even try to imagine........................a Tiger."

Guess what pops right out of the person's mind? A tiger! Somehow, human brains focus on the subject, the topic, the action....

So when you tell your child .... "Don't run!", he/she hears "run!"

Try to say ... "Stop! Walk."

And when you tell your child.... "Don't hit your brother!", he/she hears "hit your brother!"

Try to say...."Stop, put your hands down. Ask your brother for the toy."

This has been working for me for as long as I remember...just avoid "Don't, never, can't, mustn't". Give the direction to do what is right, not instruct to not do what is wrong.

When you tell the child, "Stop!" doing what is inappropriate, you need to "replace" the inappropriate action with the correct behaviour.

Don't just say..."switch off the Television, right now!" without giving another action to replace this.

Try to say..."Switch off the Television, right now, let go to the kitchen, I need your help to get dinner ready"

In this way, the child knows what to stop doing and what to do next. He needs direction, especially for kids below 5 years old, in order to give you his cooperation.

Children need limits to their behaviour to learn what is expected of them and how they should act.

They may be unhappy and confused if they do not understand what is expected of them or when they see the rules as being unfair.

Rules should be fair, easy to understand and be backed up with consequences if they are broken.

Disciplining gets easy as the child gets older. He is more aware of the consequences of any misbehaviour if you have been consistent in your responses to his undelightful action.

This means being predictable so children will know what to expect when they behave in certain ways. It is of little use to laugh at their behaviour one day and then discipline them for the same behaviour several days later.

Confusion leads to incooperation, hence leads to frustration. So stick to the rules which you and your spouse have agreed on. It may be a little hearbreaking to see the cute little eyes turned red, but its a long term prevention for future more serious misbehaviour.

Remember, disciplinary measures need not be violent or physical when you understand why your child misbehave.

Report taken from World Health Organisation

Feeling Crabby Tonight

Its just one of those moments again....Allan and I just feel like eating Chili Crab...and so we did for our dinner for tonight. We are both down with sore throat, he lost his voice, but who cares, when the craving comes, it always win! *wink*

The kids enjoyed every moment, from buying the live crabs from the market to killing them to cooking them....full of "eeee...", "waaa..", "aiya..." and of cos' my 4 year old boy with all his "why" questions...

Managing Misbehaviour in Children

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.~ David Bly

As children develop and learn to communicate with family and friends, it is important for parents to teach the children how to behave in an acceptable way.

Children seek guidelines from their parents about what is acceptable and what is not, and usually imitate their behaviour.

Most parents experience problems of disobedience as their children learn to be independent and may begin to resist them.

Although this is a normal part of child development, dealing with these situations can be very challenging for many parents.

Even though children misbehave at times, they still want and need their parents’ love and approval to develop as happy, confident and responsible children.

So, it is important to show children that they are still loved and valued but that some of their behaviours are not.

Children almost always seek their parents’ acceptance in the things they do. There are ways that parents can help their children deal with the disappointments and frustrations they feel when they do not get what they want and there are techniques that parents can use to encourage children to behave in positive ways.

Find out over the week as I share 6 proven ways to manage your child’s misbehaviour

Share a Concept

Share a concept from what I learn from the years helping out in the Child Care Centre:

T.R.I.P. represents :

T - Talking
When your child does something wrong, talk to him calmly about the rule he has broken. Ask him to tell you the correct behaviour expected. Let him know your expectations. Next, tell him the consequences of his misbehaviour.

R - Rewarding
Rewarding can take the form of praising, noting positive behaviour and occasional treat of gift. In this way, good behaviour is reinforced. However, do not let your child assume that he should be materially rewarded for his good behaviour.

I - Isolating
Isolating is when you put the child away for a brief period of time until he agrees to behave but this should not be for too long. It will also give you time to regain control of the situation. Some ways of isolation are standing in a corner and staying alone in a room. Reconciliation should follow to reassure the child.

P - Penalising
There are two main forms of penalties:

1) Deprivation - refers to withdrawal of privileges eg. no watching of cartoons.

2) Impose Responsibilities - especially for older children; they can be made to clean up the mess they created or be given extra chores…(then mummy can rest..*wink*)

Considerations in Disciplining Children

How in the world would the child know how to behave, if he was never taught. ~ F.W.L.

I was in the retail line selling handmade accessories for about 6 years. I was always moving around from one pushcart, some of you may know it better as trolley carts, to another all the time.

As usual I was at my stall rearranging my display...suddenly a small hand pop up beside me, snatched a charm bracelet and started playing with it. He was happily swinging it in the air as if he was a cowboy. Oooops! He lost grip, the bracelet flew and hit a passerby.

The mummy was right beside me, busy choosing earrings for herself. She saw her son's action from beginning till the end and all she did was kept chanting, "Ah boy, stop playing with auntie's (refering to me) things", over and over again.

The mummy's reaction towards the son's behaviour was really unbelievable! When my bracelet hit the man, who happened to be his unlucky day, the mummy didn't even say sorry! She just said plainly, "See.... You hit someone already... go pick up the bracelet and bring it back..."

I was in total shock! In my mind, I was thinking, how could you be soooooo oblivious to this type of behaviour! Its simply untolerable!

By the way, the boy did not pick it up, he just ran to look for his dad, who was busy talking to someone else. I went over to pick up my 'abused' bracelet from the floor. The beads broke.

Guess what? Find the answer here

Disciplining Your Child

It is normal for children to misbehave at times. Witnessed this in Great World City, a shopping centre in Singapore on a typical weekend...

Great World City is generally a "quiet" shopping mall... the silence was broken abruptly when I heard a boy screaming at the top of his lungs, way before he appeared infront of me.

He was screaming sooooo loudly that I could hardly hear anything except "I WANT THAT....."

When he came in sight, he slammed himself on the floor! Rolling and "swimming" on the floor with his hands and legs moving in an uncoordinated manner; as he kept his eyes on his mummy as she walks away from him.

The boy looked 4-5 years old. The dad and grandmother was right behind him.

The mum made her stand by saying "NO! I am not getting that for you!"

The dad was too concern with his pride, said "Carry him up, he is making a scene here, everyone is looking at us!"

The grandmother tried to coax the child and scold her daughter-in-law at almost at the same time, its actually quite comical to see how fast her tone changed from a pampering tone (to the boy) and then to a blaming tone (to the child's mum) and then back again to the nice and sweet granny.... "Aiya....Just give him what he wants, don't let him cry like that...."

After about 10mins of "show", the father couldn't stand the eyes of the onlookers, grabbed the child, lift him up, placed him over his wide shoulders and walked off towards the direction of the mummy, who is long gone out of sight. Awww....

We can see 3 different views of handling a child misbehaving in public.... if you were in such a situation? Your child is making a hell of noise, everyone is looking at you, your spouse and your in-law are shouting at you.... what would you have done? ....Find out

My 1st child, KeatKeat is 4 years old today.

How time flies....still remember when he was tiny and small

And now, he can do soooo many things be himself....over just 4 years, now he canbrush his teeth, wear his shoes, dress himself, bathe himself, open the lock, switch on the tv, have a mind of his own, draw cartoons, communicate so clearly with family and strangers....
its amazing...

Wanna take this opportunity to wish all children in the universe born on the 2nd of November....

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to yoooouuu..... Happy Birthday to you...." *clap, clap, clap*

Think! Before you React to Your Child’s misbehaviour

Based on a true story.

A Father just bought a brand new car, drove into his garage, get out and look at it from every angle. He saved for a very long time… to own a car. He put his hands on the top of the bright red vehicle, slowly sliding his palm across. His face was glowing with excitement and satisfaction.

Just as he was still admiring his new love, his little boy came over, tapped on his trousers and called “Papa”. The father looked down at his son, lifted him up, swings him around, hugged him and said: “Look, son, we finally have a car, shall we go for a drive?”

“Let me inform your mummy first”, said the father. He placed his son down and instructed that the boy wait for him there with the car.

After awhile, as the happy man and his wife was heading back towards his car, he could hear a very distinct sound coming from the garage…’dong’ ‘dong’ ‘dong’. He ran over to make sure that his son was not hurt in anyway.

To his disbelieve, his child was holding a small hammer, pretending to be a mechanic, hammering away as he was going around the car! There were dents all over the automobile. He could not believe his eyes. As he sees the child continues, his shock turned to anger...... Find out his reaction here