My Very Own 21 Stress Free Tips

Tip 4 of 21
What exactly is the problem? Have you really identified it correctly? Many times we believe we are stressed up because of external factors. Its never our fault. It is beyond my control. My friend, if you really sit down and think through, we have control over the stressful things that happened to us. First thing first, we have control over how we should feel and react to any situation. Thus, we do have control.

For example, a car crashed into yours. It was not your fault. You need to rush for an important meeting. Yet now you are stuck with an angry driver who kept screaming at you saying that it was your fault. You get stressed up. You quarrel with him. You are actually not solving the problem.

Because the identification of your problem was incorrect. If you have identified the source of your stress correctly, you would NOT be quarreling with him. Seriously, I learned this from Allan.

The real reason why you get stressed up is because you are running late for the meeting.
Not because of the accusation, because you know an angry man is a senseless man, so why bother to waste time talking to a senseless man.
Not because the car looks out of shape now, because you have insurance.

So all you need to do is call the person you need to meet straight away and say you cannot make it because of the car accident. Arrange for someone else to go for the meeting instead or reschedule the appointment.

Because once that is OFF your mind. You realise you are not in a rush anymore. Your stress level is lowered. You can start calling the police or call the tow-truck. Ignore the mad man and wait patiently for help to arrive ('cos now you have all the time in the world. *wink*).

That was exactly what Allan did. He told the guy who knocked onto his car saying "No need to say so much. No point blaming here and there. What's done is done already. So you want to go to my mechanic or yours?"
Allan diverted the angry man's focus on blaming TO a focus on moving forward from the situation.

Seriously, that is what Allan does best. Re-focusing. *Smile*