First Blood Donation

I could not sleep last night.
Imagining the needle, the pain, the blood.

For someone who fears injection of any sort, this was a huge step to leap.

Whenever I go for regular checkup, the nurses who take my blood always had to try all ways and means to un-tense me. They will try to tell me jokes, ask me questions, to distract me. I would also look away and clench the fist of my other hand. But nothing works, because I would be so stressed up that I would not respond to them. The nurse from my last regular checkup, after several attempts, jokingly said: "Aiyo! You so tense, I cannot even poke the needle in, its as hard as rock."

Whenever something bothers me, I will need to voice it out and my favourite confidante is hubby. Lying beside him in bed at past midnight, he told me about his previous blood donation experience, preparing me for what is to come. Still, it was difficult for someone who has slight phobia of needles to stay calm.

Then he said, "If you are so scared, then don't go."
But its for the good of Others and myself too.
So its yet another moment of 'Act Inspite of Fear' for me again.

I had walked on Fire before.
I had broke a wooden stick with it piercing at my throat before.
So what's this?
I can do it.
I must do it!

Morning came and I was totally ready to go for my very first Blood Donation, after self-psychoing myself the whole night.

Everyone was super friendly there.
I filled up a form.
Registered myself.
Interviewed by a doctor, who examined my blood pressure.
Then I moved on to test my hemoglobin level.
The minimum hemoglobin level for blood donations is 125 g/L (12.5 g/dL). Its the same criteria for both men and women.

I started to get nervous at this point.
Its the first POKE of the day.
First sight of blood this morning.

Once again, I looked away.
She punctured the tip of my middle finger.
Took my blood and put it into a mini machine to test my hemoglobin level.
It was 11.9 g/dL !!!!!

BELOW the minimum requirement!
I was NOT ALLOWED to donate my blood.

My souvenir from the activity:

She gave me a box of iron tablets and told me to eat it after meal each time.
Advised me to eat more vegetables and red meat to increase my hemoglobin level.
Then, she said, "Try again, one month later, at our Blood Bank."

She thanked me for the thought and I was directed to the door.

I shook my head as I walked towards my family who was waiting for me.
Hubby looked surprised.
I was surprised too......at my own emotions. I realised I was sad that I could not donate.
Shouldn't I be happy? I do not need to go through what I fear.
But I was unhappy instead.

Then I asked hubby: "Do you want to donate yours?"
He thought for a while and went to get a form for himself.

Now....I wished I had not asked that question......
I blame myself now for what he had to go through because of what I asked.....
Here's why :

He went through everything that I did and his hemoglobin level was 14plus, so he was eligible for the blood donation.

Everything was all cool!
We stood by him.
He chatted with us.
Kids asked lots of questions.....as usual.

Then suddenly, the attendant noticed that hubby's blood has stopped flowing.
*JAWS DROPPED*

Then the senior attendant sought permission to PUSH THE NEEDLE FURTHER in to try to 'search for better blood flow'.
*SCREAM*

Hubby was all calm and composed.
But the 3 of us who were beside him felt the stress and pain.
My elder one was so scared he had to cover his eyes.

She tried.
And tried.
And TRIED!!!!

Still no blood flow!
She kept asking hubby if it was painful and suggested that if its too painful for him, she will end the blood donation activity for him.

"Not painful." hubby kept repeating.

After several attempts, she had no choice but to give up.
Then she gave hubby a cream and said: "The vein is slightly swollen and there is a high possibility that there will be bruise at that area. When the bruise appear, apply this cream. If there isn't any bruise, then don't need to apply. Never rub or massage the bruise, it will get worse."

I kept the cream in my bag.

Then she passed an ICE PACK to hubby to soothe the swell.

In the end, only half a packet of blood was collected.

The SADDEST PART of today's blood donation experience is this : They CANNOT USE HIS HALF-PACKET full of blood!

They had to discard it!!!!

When I heard that.
I went "WHAT??!!"

OMG!
Hubby went through all of that and in the end, the blood had to be thrown???!

I was even more upset now.

*sigh*
Even the drinks and snacks couldn't cheer me up.
Even the many yellow SMILING FACES on hubby's bandage could not put a smile on my face.......
*pout*

My first blood donation.......and it ended on a Very Sad Note.

*Speechless*