Thursday, February 19, 2009

Red Hot Temper

Allan and I hardly argue. Really. No joke. All my friends see us as a weird couple. We are more like friends than a MARRIED couple ~ that's how my friends think of us.

Last year, we had the biggest quarrel ever. That was how I felt. I wrote the details here.

BUT I WAS WRONG! Yesterday's was the biggest and worst quarrel we ever had.

In the morning, he was still in a great mood and wanted to make me happy by cooking my favourite Cheesy Potato for dinner.

But in the afternoon, he was in a bad mood because of a mistake he made. Yet he knew that he needed to get my elder one to complete his Mandarin worksheets. He is my boy's Mandarin Teacher. As usual, he yelled, slammed the table and screamed terrible words at my 5year old.

Its been like that ALL ALONG. Every Mandarin lesson. My boy often ended up in tears. I hated it.

When my boy was almost in tears and hunched from the fear of looking at his dad's face, I couldn't stand it anymore. I yelled at Allan.

"I'm sorry! It was my fault. I shouldn't have thought of the idea of you teaching him Mandarin. I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE! I've had enough of these screaming! From now onwards, I'll teach him all the subjects. Now GO!"

He refused to move. I don't care if his ego was hurt. I just want him to stop hurting my boy.

"Get OUT OF THE CHAIR! Go away! I'll TEACH!"

He looked up at me, face red with anger, "WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME! KEATKEAT IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION. I need to WAKE him up!"

"You are in a bad mood because of your own mistake earlier and you VENT it on a 5 year old boy. You think that is FAIR??! Now Go away!!!!"

He semi-threw the chair he was sitting on. Stood up and yelled, "See your face, I *sian ah! The best is I leave the house right now!"

He stamped his feet into the kitchen and switched off the cooker, "I'm not going to cook! Not in the mood already!"

Then off he went OUT OF THE HOUSE!

He has never left the house in this manner before. He was truly pissed. Should I have handled it differently? Hell NO!!!!

You don't like people to SHOUT at you, you don't shout at others. I'm just giving him a taste of his own medicine. I would not say that my way of handling is correct, but given a second chance, I would still do that again.

This is the very first time we haven't spoken after a quarrel. Its not awkward to me. I'm a master of cold war. My longest record was half a year when I was only a kid. You see the person every day. In and out of the house. Yet you don't say a word to each other. Try that! I grew up in that way.

I do not think that the one who speak first is indirectly admitting that he/she is in the wrong.
I do not believe that the one who remain quiet is showing that he/she is right.

I will talk to him when there is a need to. I would. But I haven't found a reason to talk to him yet. Let's see how long this silence will last.

*sian ~ a Singlish term commonly used in Singapore to show displeasure or extreme boredom. Came from the dialect - Hokkien. Bored, tired, or sick of something.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG,.. I can feel how u are... It always happens..if i were in u'r shoes i wd have done the same as u..

Me n Eash had our longest cold war like 3 years bac that lasted for abt 4 days...

Cheer up girlie :)

Something About Us said...

parenting DOES hurt marriage, doesn't it?

let him cool down first. I am sure he will be the first to break the silence :)

Woman in a Window said...

Andrew and I have disagreements sometimes in regards to how to correct the kids. I'm all about encouraging and not being heavy or negative. You'll never get anything out of a kid by hammering at them. But I do try to talk it out with him away from the kids as soon as possible. I think it's important that they see us as a team.

Maybe it would be good to talk it through late one night, put it all out there, and offer to him why you think it's important to take another approach with the kids. He might just understand...

(And good luck with his deals. I'm having a hard time to get your comments to work but I'm all read up. Here's hoping the deals go through!)

J@n!ce said...

I have the same thoughts as you. I hope KK doesn't hate chinese bcos of the fearful teaching from his daddy. Luckily, you came to his rescue. I can imagine how terrifying it might have been that day. How are the boys?

Hugsss to you, Angeline, KK & BB !! :):)

J@n!ce said...

I've added this blog to my blogroll so that I will rem to read :):)

Angeline said...

Janice,

the boys are great now.
finally, things are back to normal.

Thank you girl!
I've added yours on my blogroll too.

imelda said...

Sis, I am a master of cold war, too. But, i admit you have the longest record. Mine is just for a month.

Alison said...

I understand why you had to defend your child. Yelling is never a good way to teach a child anything; you're absolutely right that Keatkeat might easily develop an aversion to learning if this went on.